6 Brilliant Things My Life Has Taught Me

There’s something about moving to a new state by yourself that teaches you a lot—about yourself. I still can’t believe that it’s almost been a year since moving to Chicago. Prior to moving here, I could only imagine how awesome it would be to live in a fabulous city with my cool magazine job, and live happily ever after.

But then shit got real.
Yes, I live in this fabulous city with my cool magazine job, but moving here has made me grow in ways I never saw coming. I’m really learning who I am and it’s been an eye-opening experience. Moving alone is not for the faint at heart, but it’s definitely worth it. Here are a few things I’ve learned so far…

1. My circle of friends seems to be getting smaller and smaller—and I’m cool with that. I’m all about quality over quantity, and lately I’ve really been re-evaluating the people I consider friends. Each friend serves a different purpose and some friends may only serve a purpose for just a season in your life. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, it’s just that not everyone is meant to go the next level with you.


2. I am in no shape to be in a relationship. Period. It’s just not my time and I’m tired of these Love & Hip Hop scenarios I sometimes find myself in. Ha! Ok, I’m definitely exaggerating, but seriously, I’m willing to wait for a love that’s real. While marriage is something I’m really looking forward to, right now I’m focused on being the best me…and doing hoodrat things with my friends.


3. I don’t have it all together and that’s ok. It really is ok. I’m always concerned about the next move in my career or how I’m going to make a difference in this crazy world. The fact that I don’t know causes me to act a plumb fool sometimes, but there’s peace in knowing that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and what’s meant for me will not pass me by.


4. I really like being alone sometimes. I love coming home to my own place and being able to do whatever the hell I want. I don’t have to talk to anyone if I don’t want to, I can indulge in ratchet television without anyone judging me and I can dance and sing in the mirror like no one is watching—because no is watching. I can up and go wherever and whenever. I’m free to do me and I absolutely love that shit.


5. I really cherish my family. This seems obvious, but I think I took my supportive family for granted until I was on my own in a new city. I appreciate having relatives who call to check on me, and make sure I don’t need anything. Oh, and the fact that I was down to my last $5 and my Dad put money in my account—without me asking—almost bought me to tears. (This has happened a few times.)


6. Sometimes you just have to cut mofos off. With no warning, no nothing. I don’t like confrontation and I often felt like I need to end wack friendships/relationships ceremoniously. Bish whet? You won’t always get the closure you feel you deserve. My efforts of being “nice” are exactly how I ended up in dumb situations much longer than I should have. Respect yourself and find the good in buh-bye!

Let’s talk! I’d love to hear how you’ve grown or what experiences have helped you change for the better.


Ashley White is a regular contributor at She Writes Life. When she isn’t unnecessarily shopping for home decor, you can find her thoughts on life, love and relationships here on She Writes Life. Follow her musings on Instagram @ashley_unscripted


  1. says

    Great article. Saw myself in a lot of it. I’m a firm believer in seasonal friendships and being able to say “Goodbye.” Congrats on moving to Chicago and you magazine job. That awesome!!!

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